Oh come on. Jack has this ability to not only lower everyone's IQ in the room but rile them up in some weird inspiring way. Why do you think he's still employed?!
[ SHE KNOWS HIM!! ]
And would you like me to chat with my gal pals about any indiscretions we have? I have a few I can bring up. ;)
[ Awoooo.
But the selfie was nicely timed. ]
You shouldn't frown. Consider your next warning about using this new app to have an associated horror story with it.
The only ability I care that Jack possesses is the one where he always pisses me off. Can we not talk about him more than we have already?
[ somewhere in Recollé, Jack's sneezing a lot and probably smiling like a dumbass knowing exactly why. ]
Hey, I don't give a damn. Talk about all of "dirty laundry" as much as you want. I got nothing to hide. Maybe I'm even a little proud of the things we come up with, who knows.
[ she gets another picture. this time it's one of Bigby's face, except he's gone and placed a sticky note over his mouth with a hand-drawn frown on it. he must really be bored at work. ]
[ The boots are already sitting outside of their apartment. With a few of Bigby's things. Oops. She's not seriously mad, but she is annoyed!! And that would be good payback to see him go 'WTF'. ]
Of COURSE you would be proud. I forgot who I was talking to. It's man's nature to be proud of sowing his seed. [ 'Sowing his seed' is the most country thing she's said all year. You can bring the girl out of the country but... She receives his text and it's so hard to stay mad at him. ] It does count. And. Pink sticky notes?
Good. One last thing. We'll use his boots to plant flowers. Call it a science experiment. I'll send him the pictures of the results myself.
[ little does he know that HIS WIFE IS TRYING TO FUCK WITH HIM, but he will deal with that at a later point in time. or maybe Bigby will warm her up enough to consider bringing it all back in. ]
Okay, it's things like saying "sowing his seed" that makes it a little too easy to poke fun at you. You realize how bad that sounds, right?
[ another picture. this time it's a sticky note over the other sticky note. it's green and it shows his frown now being more like a ":|" at this point. ]
Got a problem with pink? I have other colors if you fancy them more.
I don't even think Okay. You know what? I'm sure Jade would appreciate that.
Fine.
[ Look, Jack's paying her money... LET HER LIVE. ]
It's a metaphor!! I wasn't going to be vulgar! Not when I'm mad at you, honestly.
[ No sexting 4 u. He keeps sending pictures and finally, he gets one in return. Elizabeth is rolling her eyes and scoffing, but it's noticeable that she's laying on the couch in their home. Glad she didn't have class tonight. ]
You're not being very productive protecting and serving, Mr. Wolf. You're actually wasting valuable office supplies. Trust me, those are like gold.
[ he doesn't even bother responding. not when Elizabeth continues being mad at him. instead, her phone is gifted with being blown up with notifications not from Retrospec. it's his... third? fourth? picture today, this time of a sticky note placed on top of a stack of folders and paperwork calling Bigby's name. on that sticky notes is a series of words:
[ if office supplies didn't exist, neither would paperwork. you can see where one's bitterness lies. ]
Depends on what I'm supposed to expect when I get home. I'll negotiate with you. The less angry you are, the sooner you get to see my lovely, frowning face.
Oh, hush. You know I'm going to give you the damn back massage. Lotions and the whole nine.
[ and he can't say he minds the idea of what may follow after that...... HRM. ]
"Did" as in past tense? Fucking ouch, Liz. There's nothing smart about my ass right now. Besides, I thought you liked when I got creative with the words that come out of my mouth.
You should be flattered you're one of the only ones out there capable of even hurting my ego. That's a lot of power for one person to have, you know.
And if I am, Mrs. Wolf? You've tested my sensitivity before. [ :) ] I'm just trying to be nice. I won't be caught dead with those stupid boots on, so I figure I'd make it up through other ways.
Will you stop being coy for five minutes? I'm nice to you all the damn time and you know it. All of the massages and times I've washed your hair. Not to mention how much I bring home dinner.
Coy is the only way I can keep you on your toes. You know I'm a big softie.
[ :'( she's a pure!!! ]
Do you honestly feel underappreciated? I thought you being not-so-nice on that stupid app was pretty crummy. Do you not expect me to pull your leg over it?
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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[ SHE KNOWS HIM!! ]
And would you like me to chat with my gal pals about any indiscretions we have? I have a few I can bring up. ;)
[ Awoooo.
But the selfie was nicely timed. ]
You shouldn't frown. Consider your next warning about using this new app to have an associated horror story with it.
[ Congrats u played urself ]
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Can we not talk about him more than we have already?
[ somewhere in Recollé, Jack's sneezing a lot and probably smiling like a dumbass knowing exactly why. ]
Hey, I don't give a damn. Talk about all of "dirty laundry" as much as you want.
I got nothing to hide.
Maybe I'm even a little proud of the things we come up with, who knows.
[ she gets another picture. this time it's one of Bigby's face, except he's gone and placed a sticky note over his mouth with a hand-drawn frown on it. he must really be bored at work. ]
Does that count?
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[ The boots are already sitting outside of their apartment. With a few of Bigby's things. Oops. She's not seriously mad, but she is annoyed!! And that would be good payback to see him go 'WTF'. ]
Of COURSE you would be proud. I forgot who I was talking to. It's man's nature to be proud of sowing his seed. [ 'Sowing his seed' is the most country thing she's said all year. You can bring the girl out of the country but... She receives his text and it's so hard to stay mad at him. ] It does count. And. Pink sticky notes?
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We'll use his boots to plant flowers. Call it a science experiment.
I'll send him the pictures of the results myself.
[ little does he know that HIS WIFE IS TRYING TO FUCK WITH HIM, but he will deal with that at a later point in time. or maybe Bigby will warm her up enough to consider bringing it all back in. ]
Okay, it's things like saying "sowing his seed" that makes it a little too easy to poke fun at you.
You realize how bad that sounds, right?
[ another picture. this time it's a sticky note over the other sticky note. it's green and it shows his frown now being more like a ":|" at this point. ]
Got a problem with pink?
I have other colors if you fancy them more.
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Okay. You know what? I'm sure Jade would appreciate that.
Fine.
[ Look, Jack's paying her money... LET HER LIVE. ]
It's a metaphor!! I wasn't going to be vulgar! Not when I'm mad at you, honestly.
[ No sexting 4 u. He keeps sending pictures and finally, he gets one in return. Elizabeth is rolling her eyes and scoffing, but it's noticeable that she's laying on the couch in their home. Glad she didn't have class tonight. ]
You're not being very productive protecting and serving, Mr. Wolf. You're actually wasting valuable office supplies. Trust me, those are like gold.
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fuck office supplies
what a rebel!!! ]
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[ :( BE NICE TO THE OFFICE SUPPLIES. ]
What time do you get off work?
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[ if office supplies didn't exist, neither would paperwork. you can see where one's bitterness lies. ]
Depends on what I'm supposed to expect when I get home.
I'll negotiate with you.
The less angry you are, the sooner you get to see my lovely, frowning face.
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[ She's hungry? Fighting always stresses her out. ]
Do you accept the terms?
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Chinese, really?
It's like you're testing me.
[ he gives a few minutes between texts to consider his options. ]
How about subs?
And I'll give you a back massage.
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Maybe I'm just really in the mood for Chinese.
[ :) Maybe she just wants to pull his leg. ]
Fine. Subs - meatball.
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No back massage for you.
[ she can pull something else, na'mean ]
This is the part where you say you miss me, you know.
Mad or not, I could use a little validation.
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[ :( SHE WON'T PULL ANYTHING OF BIGBY'S AT THIS RATE. ]
I did miss you. But I didn't miss that dry wit of yours. Thought you were getting too old to be a smartass.
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You know I'm going to give you the damn back massage.
Lotions and the whole nine.
[ and he can't say he minds the idea of what may follow after that...... HRM. ]
"Did" as in past tense? Fucking ouch, Liz.
There's nothing smart about my ass right now.
Besides, I thought you liked when I got creative with the words that come out of my mouth.
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[ She's facepalming. ]
I didn't know you were so sensitive, Mr. Wolf. Could it be you're eager to get back into my good graces?
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That's a lot of power for one person to have, you know.
And if I am, Mrs. Wolf? You've tested my sensitivity before. [ :) ] I'm just trying to be nice. I won't be caught dead with those stupid boots on, so I figure I'd make it up through other ways.
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[ She's teasing. Totally teasing. ]
A nice wolf is a new concept. I may be a fan.
[ Bigby will wear the thottie trotties one day...
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Will you stop being coy for five minutes?
I'm nice to you all the damn time and you know it.
All of the massages and times I've washed your hair.
Not to mention how much I bring home dinner.
[ dang maybe he is sensitive..... ]
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Coy is the only way I can keep you on your toes. You know I'm a big softie.
[ :'( she's a pure!!! ]
Do you honestly feel underappreciated? I thought you being not-so-nice on that stupid app was pretty crummy. Do you not expect me to pull your leg over it?
I'll ask again: when are you coming home?
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[ betchu didn't see that coming, waifu. he's even willing to get stupid chinese for her! she won't be able to hold this over him forever dammit. ]
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[ He'll even get a few heart emotes. ]
I'll unlock the door and bring your clothes back inside. :)
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Just leave the clothes you're wearing out there instead.
See you in a bit.
♥