[ And like her request, it'll take 18 minutes to get there. That includes getting her coat on and telling Jade she's going out to meet a student for tutoring.
She doesn't instinctively knock, instead once she gets to Grell's, Liz opens the door tentatively. Mumbling under her breath please don't be a crime scene, she advances inside with caution. ]
[there's no crime scene, and Grell's place is the same as it always has been - neat, clean, lights on and the scent of a fresh pot of coffee in the kitchen.]
I'm here, Liz.
[she's sitting curled up on the couch in the living area. nothing seems to be totally wrong - her phone and a mug are on the table, she's at least dressed in pajama pants - but she's quiet. standing up to come meet her halfway, what's changed will be obvious the moment Elizabeth looks in her eyes. where once they were an ordinary shade of green, now they've changed to a brilliant golden green, the iris seemingly doubled. a color and style that's decidedly not on the spectrum of something a child could be born with.]
[ There's a slight jump of her frame when she hears Grell speak. She'll navigate whatever tight corridor of the apartment's entrance way and shut the door behind her. She follows her voice, eyes narrowing when she sees Grell stand up from her seat. ]
What — what's going —
[ She stammers, quietly as the color of her eyes catch her gaze. The sight is remarkable, truly. Almost as if seeing a wild animal in their own domain... it was something otherworldly. Her breath was held until Grell utters a vulnerable phrase to her. Soon, she shoots a hand out, grasping onto Grell's bicep tightly. First the left. Then the right. She buckles her knees only slightly to look right into Grell's eyes, as if defying the strange gaze. ]
I don't know. I — I don't have any answer, but we'll find out. [ A pause. ] Do they hurt?
[Elizabeth's grip on her arms is bracing, and she's grateful for it. a connection that's solid. she breathes deeply, exhales slowly. calm down. she had her hours of panic already. true, she hadn't panicked when she saw Liz's injury, but that was because she'd been prepping herself.]
No. They don't feel like anything, and my vision's no worse than it was already. I woke up and looked at myself in the mirror and they were like this. There's no sign of anything, no procedures done or the like. It just...happened.
[ Sympathy washes over her face, from concern to pure pity. They're a mess at this point: both of them. Her hands linger only briefly before she gives Grell the space she believes she needs.
Her words weren't as soothing as she'd have liked... ]
No signs of trauma, symptoms happening overnight, unrealistic in every sense of the word — what the hell is going on...?
[ She repeats, but ushers them back towards the living room, towards the couch where they can sit. ]
If these are appearing, there — something has to be happening with memories...? Hallucinations? But — I don't recall you ever having such eyes.
Neither do I. And trust me when I say that when it comes to my own body, I usually have a very good idea on how it looks.
[she's fastidious about her appearance, generally. someone has to be close for her to show them herself truly not put together.]
I'm not hallucinating these if you can see them too. I took a photo and they showed up in them. And it's not like I can simply hide them...
[exhaling hard, she crosses her arms in front of herself.]
If this is related to memories, then I'm just going to say the first thing that comes to mind. Which is how. How could we have forgotten that you have a scar and I have these eyes, and how did we come to remember?
[ Elizabeth nods, damn she knows the feeling well. It makes no sense, by any stretch of logical thought it never will. There's something that bothers her, how the appearance of them just... arrived. If it was gradual, it would explain there was some condition that began to develop but no — this was not a "condition". ]
Jack and Jade both disclosed to me — remembering things that feel very important to them. Real, not some fever dream. I thought it was something in the water, some kind of issue with a common factor between all of us. But, no.
[ It's physical now. Elizabeth takes a seat. ]
There's no way we all suffered mass "temporary" memory problems.
It would be too much to somehow try and see if an MRI would reveal anything, wouldn't it?
[even as she says it, it feels so science fiction. looking for something in their brains. she wants science to answer this, even as she's already thinking it'll turn up short.]
There still could be a common thread between us, but...I can't even begin to think what it could be. It's not a coincidence, not when we know each other. If I was more of a conspiracy theorist, I'd say someone was tampering with things for the hell of it. But that can't be it.
Could it all be mental? A contagious... mental state with physical reactions...
[ She muses out loud, sounding as if she's frustrated just bringing up the obvious. The fact is: they know nothing and there's a high chance... they'll find nothing. Elizabeth and Grell both come at this with different experiences but holy smokes, nothing was conclusive. ]
Oh God, what if I - [ Infected her? Liz looks a little panicked but it doesn't explain the memories - the misjudged time of both of their conditions. ] — no... tampering with what, memory? Don't tell me you think the Government is doing this or — I don't know, that stupid Retrospec app.
[ It's all light, trying to calm any irrational thoughts. ]
But how could an app start messing with our minds? Our bodies? That's levels of technology that can only happen in fiction. And frankly I don't think the government cares about us enough to do anything.
[there's no answer, and it frustrates her, enough that it's even a little visible. medicine is supposed to provide answers - science in general is, but neither science nor faith is going to give up any explanation if her hours spent tearing through online journals meant anything. no answers on Elizabeth's condition. nothing on hers.]
I swear to God, if I wake up one morning changed in worse ways, I'll find someone to blame.
No, that just is one small piece of happenstance that is pissing me off. There's a common factor, but we just need to find out what variable it is in the equation.
[ Elizabeth doesn't know what the reaction is because she knows not the catalyst that set their worlds aflame. ]
Are you going to... to tell anyone else? Publicly, I mean.
Publicly, not at all. I intend on keeping this my own matter for the moment. But the problem is that it's not like I can wear a new piece of clothing and hide it...I can't just walk around and act like it didn't happen to me.
[contacts would give her a headache. but she can't hide forever in her house - that was a delusion, she knew.]
[ Elizabeth says completely serious with her tone. ]
No one's going to fear you, you know. [ It was light, a reassuring huff as she sits back and carefully tries not to apply pressure to her own wound. ] ...I think we should find others. People that may be experiencing things like us.
...I think you're right. But there's not going to be a way people are open to really talking about it, unless...
[reaching out for her phone, she opens Retrospec, scrolling quickly through posts until she finds the glitched out one that the company provided.]
I think I saw a friend of mine on here - someone who works in the medical field. If he's amiable, then I'll ask him how he feels about us publicly announcing our status as medical professionals to the rest of the app's userbase. If people have problems like this, then they should know there are people who can be discreet, who'll at least be able to give an educated answer...and in the case of myself, who understand how frightening this is.
That's a lot of strain for you, you know. [ Elizabeth's voice was cautionary. ] You both would be like some... some heroes from a novel, helping those who can't help themselves in secret to maintain their anonymity.
[ It was frightening, she can't deny any of this. But, Grell's words were not what she expected. ]
But, what about you? Announcing yourself as a professional is not going to solve — whatever this is. It helps others, yes... but... Grell.
What about me in this? Either I use the skills I have and the trust people give me to do something, or I do not.
[something to do, something to pursue. she'll take on most of it herself to ease Lucian if she has to. the cost to herself? not considered, simply pushed to the side.]
If it doesn't solve it, then it's fine if in the meantime it helps other people, right?
[she laughs, but it's only once. something almost resigned.]
When it comes to matters like this, I don't really know how to stop. Only how to keep moving forward. I'm terribly foolish that way.
[Grell says it so lightly, but she's never said it out loud to Elizabeth before. implied it maybe, with how she seems to just...continue, but never in such black and white terms.]
[she says the words quietly, but the way she reaches for Elizabeth's hand to simply hold it for a moment speaks to the depth of how much she means it.]
And for certain, you know I'll do the same for you. Even if that means picking a topic to go on about for an hour so you don' have to dwell on this the whole time. I'm certain I could figure out something to complain about for an hour, at least.
I know and I appreciate that more than you'll ever know. I trust you beyond your expertise in your field.
[ As a friend, she implies. They both sit there being gay as fuck holding hands. Her thumb rolls over Grell's knuckle, clutching it tightly in the only reassuring way she can. ]
We'll figure this out. Somehow. For now, as long as there's no pain associated with this... we have to still deal with the sad reality.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
text > action
[ And like her request, it'll take 18 minutes to get there. That includes getting her coat on and telling Jade she's going out to meet a student for tutoring.
She doesn't instinctively knock, instead once she gets to Grell's, Liz opens the door tentatively. Mumbling under her breath please don't be a crime scene, she advances inside with caution. ]
Hello..? Grell — are you here?
no subject
I'm here, Liz.
[she's sitting curled up on the couch in the living area. nothing seems to be totally wrong - her phone and a mug are on the table, she's at least dressed in pajama pants - but she's quiet. standing up to come meet her halfway, what's changed will be obvious the moment Elizabeth looks in her eyes. where once they were an ordinary shade of green, now they've changed to a brilliant golden green, the iris seemingly doubled. a color and style that's decidedly not on the spectrum of something a child could be born with.]
What's happening to us?
[the question is even softer.]
no subject
What — what's going —
[ She stammers, quietly as the color of her eyes catch her gaze. The sight is remarkable, truly. Almost as if seeing a wild animal in their own domain... it was something otherworldly. Her breath was held until Grell utters a vulnerable phrase to her. Soon, she shoots a hand out, grasping onto Grell's bicep tightly. First the left. Then the right. She buckles her knees only slightly to look right into Grell's eyes, as if defying the strange gaze. ]
I don't know. I — I don't have any answer, but we'll find out. [ A pause. ] Do they hurt?
no subject
No. They don't feel like anything, and my vision's no worse than it was already. I woke up and looked at myself in the mirror and they were like this. There's no sign of anything, no procedures done or the like. It just...happened.
[the same way Elizabeth's injury had happened.]
no subject
Her words weren't as soothing as she'd have liked... ]
No signs of trauma, symptoms happening overnight, unrealistic in every sense of the word — what the hell is going on...?
[ She repeats, but ushers them back towards the living room, towards the couch where they can sit. ]
If these are appearing, there — something has to be happening with memories...? Hallucinations? But — I don't recall you ever having such eyes.
no subject
[she's fastidious about her appearance, generally. someone has to be close for her to show them herself truly not put together.]
I'm not hallucinating these if you can see them too. I took a photo and they showed up in them. And it's not like I can simply hide them...
[exhaling hard, she crosses her arms in front of herself.]
If this is related to memories, then I'm just going to say the first thing that comes to mind. Which is how. How could we have forgotten that you have a scar and I have these eyes, and how did we come to remember?
no subject
Jack and Jade both disclosed to me — remembering things that feel very important to them. Real, not some fever dream. I thought it was something in the water, some kind of issue with a common factor between all of us. But, no.
[ It's physical now. Elizabeth takes a seat. ]
There's no way we all suffered mass "temporary" memory problems.
no subject
[even as she says it, it feels so science fiction. looking for something in their brains. she wants science to answer this, even as she's already thinking it'll turn up short.]
There still could be a common thread between us, but...I can't even begin to think what it could be. It's not a coincidence, not when we know each other. If I was more of a conspiracy theorist, I'd say someone was tampering with things for the hell of it. But that can't be it.
no subject
[ She muses out loud, sounding as if she's frustrated just bringing up the obvious. The fact is: they know nothing and there's a high chance... they'll find nothing. Elizabeth and Grell both come at this with different experiences but holy smokes, nothing was conclusive. ]
Oh God, what if I - [ Infected her? Liz looks a little panicked but it doesn't explain the memories - the misjudged time of both of their conditions. ] — no... tampering with what, memory? Don't tell me you think the Government is doing this or — I don't know, that stupid Retrospec app.
[ It's all light, trying to calm any irrational thoughts. ]
no subject
[there's no answer, and it frustrates her, enough that it's even a little visible. medicine is supposed to provide answers - science in general is, but neither science nor faith is going to give up any explanation if her hours spent tearing through online journals meant anything. no answers on Elizabeth's condition. nothing on hers.]
I swear to God, if I wake up one morning changed in worse ways, I'll find someone to blame.
no subject
[ Elizabeth doesn't know what the reaction is because she knows not the catalyst that set their worlds aflame. ]
Are you going to... to tell anyone else? Publicly, I mean.
no subject
[contacts would give her a headache. but she can't hide forever in her house - that was a delusion, she knew.]
no subject
[ Elizabeth says completely serious with her tone. ]
No one's going to fear you, you know. [ It was light, a reassuring huff as she sits back and carefully tries not to apply pressure to her own wound. ] ...I think we should find others. People that may be experiencing things like us.
no subject
[reaching out for her phone, she opens Retrospec, scrolling quickly through posts until she finds the glitched out one that the company provided.]
I think I saw a friend of mine on here - someone who works in the medical field. If he's amiable, then I'll ask him how he feels about us publicly announcing our status as medical professionals to the rest of the app's userbase. If people have problems like this, then they should know there are people who can be discreet, who'll at least be able to give an educated answer...and in the case of myself, who understand how frightening this is.
no subject
[ It was frightening, she can't deny any of this. But, Grell's words were not what she expected. ]
But, what about you? Announcing yourself as a professional is not going to solve — whatever this is. It helps others, yes... but... Grell.
no subject
[something to do, something to pursue. she'll take on most of it herself to ease Lucian if she has to. the cost to herself? not considered, simply pushed to the side.]
If it doesn't solve it, then it's fine if in the meantime it helps other people, right?
no subject
[ The workload, the influx of people seeking her out like some savior. The less focus on her own situation and more on others — ]
... There's still a line I do hope you don't cross. One that borders negligence to yourself and foolishness.
no subject
When it comes to matters like this, I don't really know how to stop. Only how to keep moving forward. I'm terribly foolish that way.
[Grell says it so lightly, but she's never said it out loud to Elizabeth before. implied it maybe, with how she seems to just...continue, but never in such black and white terms.]
no subject
[ A beat. ]
Watch where you're going, is all I'm saying. I'm trying to find the right path to move on from this. You're welcome to join me in blissful ignorance.
no subject
[there's only so much before it becomes too exhausting to handle entirely.]
I can soldier on and not raise a fuss, but it's there all the same.
no subject
[ She wants to give Grell some answer. Some awe-inspiring answer that will give her courage to honestly do right by herself.
It's in that moment that it hits her. This isn't her. This isn't her reaction, but for Grell? Maybe this is perfectly acceptable. ]
Give me a call when you feel a fuss arising. Whichever way you choose to deal with the cards dealt to you, you know I'll be here.
no subject
[she says the words quietly, but the way she reaches for Elizabeth's hand to simply hold it for a moment speaks to the depth of how much she means it.]
And for certain, you know I'll do the same for you. Even if that means picking a topic to go on about for an hour so you don' have to dwell on this the whole time. I'm certain I could figure out something to complain about for an hour, at least.
[the joke is weak, but the sentiment is true.]
no subject
[ As a friend, she implies. They both sit there being gay as fuck holding hands. Her thumb rolls over Grell's knuckle, clutching it tightly in the only reassuring way she can. ]
We'll figure this out. Somehow. For now, as long as there's no pain associated with this... we have to still deal with the sad reality.