[He just GROANS LIKE HIS LIFE IS OVER... But he's just hamming it up, and he'll even mutter a grateful-sounding "thank you" as he scoots over to pick up the study guide.

As for that...]

...Well, I'm not dreaming about people getting stabbed or sprouting wings or whatever, so it's not as bad as it could be, I guess? [REASSURING.] But I did come here to talk to you about something. Um... About this, actually.

[At which point he swings the bag over his shoulder, opening the cloth top. He reaches in for the hilt, withdrawing... a very real sword.]